Nose

D Vautier
11/2000

I don't think there is another animal that has a nose quite as large as a basset hound.  That huge all-smelling, all-powerful piece of equipment certainly makes the basset a one-of-a-kind dog.  It travels just in front of the dog acting like a giant vacuum cleaner of smells, picking up, finding, deciphering, and decoding everything in its path.  

Scientists tell us that 80% of a basset’s brain consists of olfactory lobes used to process smells.  Bassets are one of the best smellers in the world.

I fixed myself a nice bowl of chili once, set it on the table and went back to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.  When I returned there was Sparky sitting in the chair just finishing up my nice bowel of chili.

Last Christmas I got Cyn some perfume.  I wrapped it in three layers of plastic and stashed it behind some big presents under the tree.  It took the basset just 2 minutes to find it and carry it off.  She spent the next hour happily chewing on a $50 bottle of Channel #22.  It was the only time I can remember when the dog actually smelled good.

During the cold war we should have secretly taped sausages to all the Russian bombers and Mig-29's.  We could have stationed Basset Hounds around the borders of our country, and saved a lot of money for expensive radar.

We could also rub fish oil on the clothing of suspected terrorists and put bassets at all the airports.  Should work like a charm.

Basset nose joke:

First Basset:  Where's the nearest tree?
2nd Basset:  Just follow your nose.
First Basset:  Do I have a choice?