God Exists

D Vautier
11/2000

In the 13^th century the noted philosopher Aquinas developed four surefire proofs for the existence of God.  These are motion, efficient cause, being vs. non-being, and varying degrees of goodness.

1. Motion.  Everything in the universe moves and there just had to be a prime mover to get things started—therefore God exists.

2. Efficient cause.  If you think about it, everything has a cause, so there had to be a first cause back there somewhere—therefore God exists.

3. All things can exist or not exist.  Something or other just had to always exist by its nature—therefore God exists.

4. The lesser and greater goodness presupposes the perfect good—therefore God exists.

Thus:

ugly

uglier

ugliest

After a great deal of thought I developed another strong proof for the existence of God (Aquinas, eat your heart out).   It’s called the varying degrees of ugliness.  Since the basset does exist and is the ugliest thing I can imagine, it possesses these varying degrees of ugliness —therefore God exists.