Rank

D Vautier
11/2006

Rank is what makes society work.  Everybody needs to have a boss.  If you don’t have a boss then you’re either God Almighty or you’re not really an active part of society—off living in a cave somewhere and eating slugs.

When I changed schools in the third grade, I had to beat up a few kids the first day to establish my rank, so I knew just where I fit into the social order.  I wasn’t really a mean kid or anything; I just figured that’s the way the system had to work.  Otherwise there was just a lot confusion and frustration because nobody knew the pecking order.

In graduate school we got to study hierarchic systems and how they operated for organizations, and how an organization needs hierarchy to function.  That hierarchy has to work, or the organization doesn’t work.  Never mind all the “inside-out” and “bottom-up” and “outside-in” theories that management loves to talk about, and the empowering, and self-actualization bunk.  Never mind theory-x and theory-y or paradigm A or paradigm B or model T or V or Z.  These are just a bunch of useless mental constructs that teachers need to write about to get tenure.

Here’s the truth.  If the hierarchy or chain-of-command doesn’t work then the organization is doomed, and in the case of business, the business is doomed.  In the case of the military, the military is doomed.

Hierarchy is just about universal.  Dads and moms outrank the kids; teenagers outrank ten-year-olds.  Managers outrank workers.  Big bosses outrank little bosses.  Doctors outrank nurses; nurses outrank orderlies, and the buck private, after being on the mat, went home and kicked his dog because he didn’t outrank anybody else, not even his wife.  Dogs are good to have around because chances are you outrank them.

There is no greater example of this rank stuff than in the armed forces.  In the army everybody has a rank and you even get to wear it right there on your sleeve and in everybody’s face (you don’t have a choice, you have to show rank).  In that way everybody knows where their place is in the system and you don’t have to beat up on anybody else to establish hierarchy (well—sometimes).  You also know what is expected and who is in charge.  Somebody is in charge; anywhere on earth somebody is always in charge.

So how is rank distributed in the armed forces?  Congress allocates it, and there is just so much rank to go around—like gold.  For instance in the army so much money is allocated to pay the salaries for the colonels, generals, captains, staff sergeants, first sergeants, master sergeants, privates, etc.  It all depends on the number of men in uniform.  When that number is static, the only way you can get rank is to wait for somebody to retire or die.  When the military gets reduced in size, some ranking officers and non-coms are ordered to resign, or they will get their rank reduced.  When the military is being built up fast (as it was in 1965 and 1966), Johnson ordered a massive increase in personnel to fight the war in Vietnam.  Naturally there were a lot of allocations for rank coming down from Congress; I mean a lot of them.  I suppose much of it had to do with the “Great Society” image and Johnson’s power over the legislature.  These allocations often had to be turned back because nobody had enough time-in-grade to qualify for rank.  By law you had to have a certain time in your grade (even with a waiver) to get the next higher rank.

I was an E-4 specialist in 1965, but I made E-5 after 23 months time-in-service, not that I was particularly hardworking, or enthusiastic, or overly dedicated, or that I had a good attitude, which I didn’t, but just because that’s the way it happened to go.  Our unit received three E-5 allocations in July 1966 but the Captain awarded only two of them because there were only two guys in the entire battery with enough time-in-grade, even after a waiver.  These two guys were my roommates and they were scheduled to be discharged in two months.

The next day the captain called me into his office.  I was not sure what to think of it, and I was somewhat preoccupied.  Not too many people get called on the mat unless they are in some kind of trouble so I had good reason to be worried.  I carefully combed my hair, checked my gig line and went to the captain’s office. (The gig line is that imaginary vertical line running down your front through your belly button.  All blouse seams, fatigue seams, and belt buckle have to be on the gig line.)

Me:  Spec-4 Vautier reporting as ordered, sir.
Captain:  So Vautier, what did you think of your two roommates getting their umbrellas? (The spec-5 emblem is an eagle with a curved yellow bar over it, and is commonly referred to as an umbrella).
Me:  I think they deserved it, sir. (The only possible response).
Captain: So won’t you have 8 months time-in-grade next month?
Me:  Yes sir I will.
Captain:  Looks to me like you are the only one in the battery eligible for E-5 next month.  I have three more E-5 allocations coming down.  It would be real unfortunate and embarrassing if I had to turn all of them back, wouldn’t it.
Me:  Yes sir it sure would.
Captain: That will be all.
Me: Thank you sir.

I saluted smartly and left.
I also made it a point to stay completely out of trouble for the next month.